For Friends and Family

If a family member or friend has been sexually assaulted, the way you react can greatly influence how that person recovers.

The victim is not to blame. Whatever happened before the assault, whether the victim fought or not, the best possible choice was made to come out of the situation alive. Sexual assault is an act of humiliation and degradation. No one asks for it.

During the assault the victim will have felt powerless and might have been afraid of injury or death. After the assault and over time, they may feel very alone and distrustful, with sudden mood changes. They may blame themselves.

It is important that the victim knows that you love and care for them.

Allow them to regain control over their life, and make their own decisions. Don't overprotect.
Treat them no differently than before. Continue to live the way you always have, providing stability.
Communicate your acceptance through naturalness. Be willing to listen if they want to talk, but do not force them to talk if they do not want that. That's okay too.
Do not urge the victim to "forget" or hide the assault. This may delay the healing process.
The most important thing is to show your affection. This reassures the victim of your love and concern, breaking down those feelings of aloneness. There are many ways to do this - sometimes being touched does not feel quite right at first. If you are in an intimate relationship, reassure the victim that you will wait until they are ready to make the first move.

If a family member or friend has been sexually assaulted it is quite common for you to feel disbelief, numbness, guilt, helplessness and anger. You may blame the victim for the assault. That is why sometimes they might not tell anyone about the assault, fearing these sorts of possible reactions. Blaming the victim or wanting to kill the assailant will not help the victim's recovery.

You may want to talk to someone about your feelings and how you can best help. Please contact the Northern Sydney Sexual Assault Service for further information.



	Welcome About The Northern Sydney Sexual Assault Service Contact the Service How You Might Feel What Can You Do? Myths Trauma Medical Compensation Groups Family and Friends Links and Resources Admin Login	For Friends and Family If a family member or friend has been sexually assaulted, the way you react can greatly influence how that person recovers. The victim is not to blame. Whatever happened before the assault, whether the victim fought or not, the best possible choice was made to come out of the situation alive. Sexual assault is an act of humiliation and degradation. No one asks for it. During the assault the victim will have felt powerless and might have been afraid of injury or death. After the assault and over time, they may feel very alone and distrustful, with sudden mood changes. They may blame themselves. It is important that the victim knows that you love and care for them. Allow them to regain control over their life, and make their own decisions. Don't overprotect. Treat them no differently than before. Continue to live the way you always have, providing stability. Communicate your acceptance through naturalness. Be willing to listen if they want to talk, but do not force them to talk if they do not want that. That's okay too. Do not urge the victim to "forget" or hide the assault. This may delay the healing process. The most important thing is to show your affection. This reassures the victim of your love and concern, breaking down those feelings of aloneness. There are many ways to do this - sometimes being touched does not feel quite right at first. If you are in an intimate relationship, reassure the victim that you will wait until they are ready to make the first move. If a family member or friend has been sexually assaulted it is quite common for you to feel disbelief, numbness, guilt, helplessness and anger. You may blame the victim for the assault. That is why sometimes they might not tell anyone about the assault, fearing these sorts of possible reactions. Blaming the victim or wanting to kill the assailant will not help the victim's recovery. You may want to talk to someone about your feelings and how you can best help. Please contact the Northern Sydney Sexual Assault Service for further information.


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